How I got my baby to sleep through the night at 7 weeks


Hi friends! It’s Sunday evening, we’ve got froze pizza in the oven, a glass of wine in hand, and i’m feeling chatty so I decided to tackle one of my most asked questions:

sleeptraining

“How did you get your baby to sleep through the night?!”

I want to preface this by saying that I am NO expert by any means. I believe my success with teaching my baby good sleeping habits is attributed to three things:

  1. Reading Baby Wise and taking the Taking Cara Babies sleeping course

  2. My mother in law!!! She stayed with us our first two weeks home from the hospital and her help and support was life changing in helping me stick to a schedule and create good habits

  3. A schedule! I feel like the word schedule is a hot word these days. Either you love it or you hate it. I am not afraid to admit that I LOVE sticking to a schedule. I has given me so much predictability, freedom, peace of mind, and SLEEP! I know that every mama is different and you gotta do what works for YOU! That being said, I have yet to meet a mama who followed no schedule and their baby napped well and slept through the night. I believe this is because we are ALL programmed to be on a schedule, it’s called the circadian rhythm. A newborn fresh out of the womb doesn’t know day from night yet, all they know is hunger cues and sleep cues. It’s our jobs to teach them what those mean and when they should eat and sleep.

One things I hear from alot of mama’s is that they don’t attempt a schedule because they want their baby to be flexible and go along with their schedule. I get that logic but in my experience, having them on a schedule and being super consistent in following it gives ME so much freedom and flexibility! For example, since I know when she’s going to eat every single day, It’s super easy for me to plan out when I can go workout, run errands, or leave the baby with my hubby and go on a solo adventure. I never play the guessing game on when she’ll be tired or hungry because I know at what times during the day she eats and sleeps. Like I said, this is only coming from my personal experience but my hope is that my experience can help other mama’s facing struggles in this area!

Okay… here we go… here’s what I did…

I would highly recommend getting the book Baby Wise and taking the Taking Cara Babies sleep course before you give birth. Having a baby is so overwhelming to begin with that if you don’t have any pre-existing knowledge on sleep training, it will be hard to learn it all once the baby is here. I promise, it’s worth learning ahead of time!

I started Wynn Leigh on a schedule from day one. seriously. I was so overwhelmed in the hospital with nurses coming in and out, constantly poking and prodding, that I needed to feed her on a schedule so I wouldn’t forget. I believe I fed her ever 2.5 hours for the first week. Once my mother-in-law came and we were settled at home, I fed every 2-2.5 hours during the day and then every 3 hours at night. By week two I was feeding every three hours around the clock and by week four I stopped waking her up for feedings at night.

I’ll never forget our second night in the hospital… The nurses warned us that the second night is when most babies want to “cluster feed” and so we should be prepared to stay up all night. I remember feeding at 10pm and after I was done feeding, I put Wynn Leigh back in her bassinet and she started fussing. I immediately grabbed her out and tried feeding again… that worked for a minute but then she was flustered. She wanted to suck on something but was also too tired to eat so she was just fussy. I called a nurse in and asked if we could have a pacifier. Our hospital was against pacifiers and we had heard not to use them in the beginning so we didn’t bring our own. Our nurse “snuck one” to us and immediately it calmed Wynn Leigh down and she fell back asleep until her next feeding. We have used the pacifier as a sleep aid ever since and she never cluster fed!

*note on pacifiers: the pacifier is definitely not something that works for every baby. At first it seemed like Wynn Leigh didn’t like them but she just didn’t know how to use it. We spent a couple weeks teaching her how to use it and eventually she got the hang of it! If it seems like your baby doesn’t like them, maybe try a different brand. For us, all we had were Bibs pacifiers and so even though they seemed way too big for her at first, we just kept trying, and eventually she got the hang of them!

Once my mother in law got into town, she quickly helped me get into a routine! We have practiced the eat, play, sleep routine from the very first week and it really helped solidify our schedule. Having my mother in law, who successfully trained all four of her children to sleep through the night was invaluable. She helped me stay on schedule even when Wynn Leigh would wake up mid nap or seem fussy in between feedings. I remember one morning it was 6:45 and Wynn Leigh was fussing but her feeding time wasn’t until 7. I came downstairs and said “I think i’ll just feed her now.” My mother in law quickly said “I would wait a few more minutes. How about I hold her for you and keep her busy?” I let my mother-in-law love on Wynnie and soothe her for 15 minutes until I fed and it all worked out! It was moments like this that really helped keep me consistent and on track when I would have otherwise probably just caved in and fed her because she seemed hungry and fussy.

I am 100% not saying I denied my daughter food! There are definitely exceptions to the rule. That being said, by sticking to a schedule even early on, it allowed each feeding to be a really productive and full feeding so it was easy to not have any ‘snacking’ in between.

By the time my mother in law left, I was in a good routine of feeding every three hours. We kept that up until her 4 week appointment where we were told she was gaining enough weight. After that, I didn’t wake her at night and I would let her wake me for a feed.

By five weeks, we tried stretching to every 5 hours. By six weeks, six hours. Seven weeks, seven hours. etc! How did we logistically do that? Well, when she woke up and lets say it had only been 4.5 hours, instead of picking her up, I would put her pacifier in and put my hand on her chest and gently rock her back and forth in the hopes she would go back to sleep. There were many nights where I knew it would be easier to just get her up and feed her but I knew this wouldn’t teach her to sleep like I wanted her to. This took ALOT of patience and many times of me having to get up and soothe her, but it was 100% worth it. She quickly learned how to put herself back to sleep! We did this approach from week 5-7 and by week 7 she was doing seven hour stretches between feedings!

Sleep training is definitely not linear. There were some nights she regressed and would wake up multiple times but the biggest thing for me was NOT feeding her during whose wake-ups. This allowed her to get all her calories in during the day and taught her that nighttime is for sleeping.

Now Wynn Leigh is 6 months old and sleeps in her own room! She still wakes up maybe once or twice a night and I will go in and put her pacifier and she goes straight to sleep. Most of the time when she wakes up though she goes back to sleep on her own.

Through our entire journey, I’ve tried to focus on progress not perfection. This is just what has worked for me and things I have learned along the way. Like I said in the beginning, I can’t stress enough the book Baby Wise! It gives so much great information that will make you comfortable with sleep training. Lastly, if sleep training is your goal then you must be consistent. There’s no other way around it. Day in and day out, be consistent with the nap schedule, night schedule, and consistent feedings. This is so key to teaching your baby good habits!

I really hope this helps you all! Definitely comment below if you have any questions! I’m here for you guys!!!

Here’s to happy sleeping!!

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xoxo

Golden Mylk Recipe

Hi friends! I hope you all are having a good start to your week. Just another week of quarantine! For the most part I have been loving this extra simple time at home but I am ready to be able to goto the beach again. I don’t know about you, but i’m definitely feeling the collective stress from all of this coronavirus craziness. As much as i’ve been trying to stay calm and focus on the present, it’s hard knowing that so many people are suffering out there. I’ve been having a harder time falling asleep recently and so I started making this golden mylk every night and it has been helping calm my mind and fall asleep faster! Traditional golden mylk combines milk, turmeric, and ginger to make a soothing milk that is known to boost immunity and ease digestion. I add raw honey, chamomile flowers, and ashwagandha to mine to add even further healing elements. Chamomile is known to be calming to the nervous and ashwagandha is an adaptogen that helps the body in times of stress. Ashwagandha is also known to be a powerful hormone balancer.

I make enough golden mylk at one time to last me about three days. I now look forward to this comforting drink every night! I hope you like it!

INREDIENTS

3 cups nut milk of choice

1 1/2 tsp ground Turmeric

1 inch ginger root grated

1 Tbs chamomile flowers (or two bags of chamomile tea)

1/2 tsp salt

1 Tbs raw honey

1 tsp Ashwagandha

Dash of cinnamon

DIRECTIONS

  • add all ingredients to a sauce pan and simmer for 15 minutes

  • drain the liquid to remove the spices

  • pour desired amount into a mug and add a dash of cinnamon on top

  • save the rest in the fridge for up to three days

Let me know what you think of it!!!

Let me know what you think of it!!!

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The Summer I Didn't Sleep: My Journey through Anxiety

 

*Disclaimer: This is my unique story with anxiety and how I treated it. I am not writing this to give medical advice or recommend a certain treatment plan. I am simply sharing what I did to help heal my body and overcome anxiety. 

It' been a full year since I experienced one of the hardest seasons of life I have ever been through. A full year since I thought my body was failing me. I know this may sound dramatic but I truly felt like I was dying. It's something I have kept to myself for the most part, no one could understand. I went to multiple doctors, counselors, and good friends and even though I got great wisdom & guidance, no one could truly help me. It's weird to write about because it's still something I have no explanation for. I still don't quite know exactly why I went through it or what lessons have come out of it, but at least I'm starting to process it. 

It started last May. I remember the exact day. Danny was gone for training (he was gone basically that whole Summer) I had friends visiting Oahu and I had spent the day with them at Waimea Bay. It was a normal, Summer day in Hawaii until I got home and it hit me. I started feeling clammy and dizzy. I thought I was dehydrated and so I drank a ton of water and laid down. About an hour later I was feeling even worse. I had this dooming fear that if I stood up, I would pass out. My heart was beating outside of my chest and it felt hard to breathe. I didn't know it then, but now I know, that was the first time I experienced a true panic attack. 

From that day forward, everyday seemed to get worse. It started with one panic attack a day, then three, then up to five, and then eventually, all day long I would experience panic symptoms and I stopped sleeping at night. I have never had troubles falling asleep in the past and so not being able to fall sleep was a new thing for me. I would get ready for bed, lay down, doze off, and as soon as I would doze off a bit and my body relaxed, I would get an adrenaline rush and the panic symptoms would come back. There was truly no rhyme or reason for it. I did not feel stressed. It would just come up out of nowhere. The entire night would be a constant struggle of trying to relax and then an adrenaline rush would hit me and it turned into a vicious cycle of sleeplessness and crippling anxiety. I was home alone for the most part because Danny was away at training and since I physically felt pain during these attacks, I was even more anxious being by myself.

I would love to tell you that this went on for only a short time and I found my anxiety triggers and overcame them quickly, but this was my life for seven long months. I could not sleep at night for SEVEN MONTHS. it didn't matter if I was at home in Hawaii or back in California I. could. not. Sleep. I felt like a crazy person. I was afraid to leave my house because I never knew when a panic attack would kick in. I got sick all the time because my immune system was so compromised from no sleep. I had to miss the bachelorette party of one of my best friends because of this. The worst part was, my husband Danny had army training pretty much throughout this entire season and so not only could he not be there for me, he didn't even know it was happening. 

During this time, I had a list of people who I would call/text at night at 1, 2, even 3am when I couldn't sleep. On an average night, after going to bed at 10pm, I would be able to finally fall asleep around 2am. Thinking of these sweet friends and mentors who were there for me and constantly checked in on me brings me to tears. Looking back, I don't know how I would have gotten through this without them. I am blessed with the most amazing people in my life and even though no one could understand why this was happening, they sat with me in the trenches.

I am sharing all of this not to bring attention to myself or have a pity party. I am sharing this because sometimes in life, bad things happen and you have no explanation for them. Sometimes horrible things come up, and there is no logical answer as to WHY. During this season in my life, I couldn't figure out why it was happening.. I was eating healthy for the most part, there were no HUGE stressors on my life (except my husband being gone, which actually is a huge life stressor that I didn't realize at the time) and I don’t have a particularly stressful job or life and so I couldn't comprehend how this anxiety could be so bad.

After experiencing what I did, I 100% agree that there are hormone imbalances in the brain and some people need professional guidance and medicine to help them keep balance. I also believe whole-heartedly that God is in control and he could have taken this pain away from me. That being said, there seemed to be no amount of praying that could be done to pray my anxiety away. It wasn't going anywhere. I was offered sleeping pills, anti-depressants, etc. and for me personally, I knew that my anxiety was a deep-rooted issue and I wanted to get to the bottom of it, holistically. 

*Before I share what I did to help balance out my hormones, I want to share a disclaimer that I still to the day don't know WHY I went through this. It's something I struggle with every day. Yes, I changed my eating and supplements and rested and did ALL THE THINGS and eventually the anxiety became less crippling, but I still do not know what initially caused it. THAT is what I want to talk about in this post because I think we all have things that happen in life that we can't explain, comprehend, or reason with. If you are in a season like that, I want you to know, you are not alone.

I'm not sure why God had me go through this season but I have sure learned a lot of healthy coping mechanisms that I can use now to calm myself down when a bout of anxiety hits.  Here's what helped me...

1. Routine:  Sticking to a routine, especially at night, helped me calm down my system. During this season, I was so overstimulated that even watching TV or going to the movies would make my body panic (again, I have no clue why) and so for me I knew that I couldn't go out at night and I needed to spend time every night drinking herbal tea, reading and journaling. I journaled ALOT during this season. 

2. Diet: At the time of all of this, I had added gluten back into my diet, which I knew my body wasn't happy with but I tried to reason my way through still eating it. It was when I fully took gluten out of my diet again that I started to feel back to normal. How crazy Is that! I also took out most sugar and limited grains. I am still eating this way and I feel SO good! 

3. Gut Health: This was HUGE for me. From doing some testing, I realized my gut was not healthy and had candida and bacteria overgrowth. Your gut produces your mood hormones! Did you know that?! So through diet and supplements I worked on cleaning up my gut. 

5. Herbal Supplements: One of the things that gave me immediate support and helped me sleep was a homeopathic remedy that my naturopathic doctor recommended for me. It worked WONDERS in calming down my immune system. I couldn’t sleep without taking this for seven months. Even though I didn’t like the idea of having to take something to calm me down, I knew I needed to sleep and I knew that this would help me heal. It's called Relax Tone and I will link it down below! I also drank LOTS of herbal teal; bedtime tea, chamomile, and rooibos are my favorites. 

6. Adaptogens: Ashwagandha is known to help with regulating hormones and so I put a 1/2 teaspoon in my smoothie every morning and I definitely noticed a huge difference! I still put Ashwagandha in my smoothies a couple times a week and I swear, it helps me feel so much more balanced.

7. Setting boundaries: During this season in my life, I had to say "No" a lot. It took pretty much everything I had inside of me to be a wife and run my business. I wasn't a great friend during that time and I didn't have energy to do much at all. The only way I can describe how I felt was that it I felt like I had a radio on LOUD in my head all the time. My thoughts would race, my thinking would be muddled, and I couldn't focus on anything with all the static going on in my head. I stayed home a lot and journaled, prayed, and read. 

8. A Strong Community: During this season more than ever, I really needed people to encourage me & stay in the trenches with me. A few friends really stepped up the plate and covered me in prayer. Even though they couldn't understand, they were there, and that meant the world to me. 

Slowly, month after month, I begin to heal. Danny came home from his crazy season of work travel and I got really good at self-care. Again, there was no true rhyme or reason of why I got better but slowly it was getting easier to fall asleep at night and the anxiety during the day slowly faded as well. As I made lifestyle changes, I think my hormones began to re-regulate, my gut healed, and I began to feel “normal” again. About five months ago I began to feel like myself again and this season has been so sweet since I’ve been able to reintroduce things back into my life. I also have a renewed sense of peace and joy in my life that I no longer take for granted!

 

I wish I could tell you that I found joy in my dark place, but I didn’t. I wish I could tell you that I learned a ton of lessons during that season, but I don’t think they’ve revealed themselves to me yet. Like I said before, sometimes your world gets turned upside down and you are left with a lot of question marks. I don’t know WHY but I do know that I am stronger because of it. 

 

If you are facing anxiety, I hope my story encourages you to never stop seeking true healing. Everyone has their own unique journey to healing and yours may look very different than mine and that Is OKAY! I hope that my experience encourages you to keep going and take care of yourself. If I learned anything this past year it was that hard times don’t last forever, it’s just a season. Things WILL get better.

 

If you are facing something else that is hard to wrap your mind around, I hope my story encourages you that you are not alone! It’s okay to not know why. It’s okay to be mad about it. It’s okay to hurt. Just remember that this too shall pass and you WILL get through it and come out on top.

 I’m not sure how to end this post because I’m not sure my story has an ending and yours doesn’t either. Keep going, babe. You got this. <3 

xo,

Lauren

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